CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
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I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize