I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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