upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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