I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize