Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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