I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
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i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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