Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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