It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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