Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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