Duck Duck Cougar?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize