I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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