DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize