who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm like, not good at living.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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