the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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