I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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