tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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