i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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