**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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