My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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