I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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