Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize