he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How's work?
Spinning.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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