That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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