Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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