My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Houston, we have a blender
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize