i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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