Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize