$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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