Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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