sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I seem to have left my pride at pride
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize