Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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