Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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