I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drake has all the answers
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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