I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize