I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's shark week go big or go home
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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