Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize