I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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