mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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