Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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