In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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