Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize