she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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