I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize