if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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