Don't you send me to vm
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize