So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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