If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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