sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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