You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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