Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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